DAY XXIII // SOUNDS, SEASONS, & SCENTS

Sounds --  

// Any heartbeat, her dad's specifically when I fall asleep on his chest every night, the Disney lullabies I played for her since she was 10 weeks old in my tummy (I just know that "I See the Light" from Tangled was her all-time favorite), also the Disney Classics playlist I'd play from my cellphone and keep in my pocket while I was at work (I did this so that Havey would be happy and stay dancing in my tummy while her mama worked her 12 hour shift -- and man she did this a lot). Lastly, the breeze of the wind while I visit her grave site; it reassures me that she is with me wherever I go.

Seasons --  

// When we found out we were pregnant with our precious Haven back in February, it was still the winter time.  When we approached our second trimester, spring had arrived. And when Haven made her grand entrance in July it was summer in Los Angeles. I was super excited to have a Fall baby as her original due date was at the of October. As painful as they all will be individually,  I'd like to believe that all of the seasons will forever remind me of Haven and how in each one, holds a different piece and memory of our time here together on this side of Heaven with our girl. 

Scents -- 

// the sweet aroma of flowers (roses and eucalyptus being the most distinguished) remind me of Haven the most. While pregnant with her, I did a lot of practicing and arranging with florals. I remember each time, dreaming as I was stripping and styling, for the days ahead when Haven would finally be with me and play with the beautiful mess that I'd be making. I always kept arrangements in our bedroom and in her nursery while I was pregnant to add some life and love into our spaces -- I still try my best to keep this ritual, as flowers remind me of her and helps keep her presence around. I also, used the essential oil - Lavender a lot while I was pregnant with her. I made room sprays with a few drops of it and mixed it with water. I'd spray this throughout both of our rooms as well as our bed linen and pillows to help me sleep during those sleepless nights when Haven was moving and growing the most. Even while we were in the hospital, my sister had kept note of this and would spray our room with Lavender after my daily bed baths.

Reminders are everywhere. At first, I'd be surprised when something would cross my path but now I've grown to anticipate and look for Haven all the time, in all things, even in the tiniest. With every new week and month that passes by, I am reminded (joyfully and painfully) of all the new milestones we would have hit and all of the adventures we could have continued to make together as a small new family of three. 

 

 

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.. Oh, how I wish you were still here. 💕