DAY XXX // MY PROMISE TO YOU

I promise to love you for the rest of my life. 

I promise to never stop, and to never forget. 

I promise to never hide or shame away in my grief for you as I never hid or shamed myself away in my love. 

I promise to honor you. 

I promise to aspire in living my life in --love and light-- (all that you are) for the remainder of mine here on this side of Heaven. 

I promise to consider you in all things in my life until we reunite again.  

I promise to include you in all outings, gatherings, events, holidays, etc. -- no matter how off or awkward it may appear to those looking from the outside.  

I promise to celebrate all your monthly birthdays and yearly birthday until I grow old and grey.  

I promise to sing you, "Happy Birthday", light candles, blow them out for you and throw you the best birthday parties forever.  

I promise that for the remainder of my life, to strive to be the best person, daughter, sister, wife, employee, friend, and mother because you my dear, are my daughter and I want to live my life in a way that makes you happy and proud that you are mine.  

I promise to love, cherish, adore and respect your daddy, Paul even harder, as I will do this on your behalf as well.  

I promise to shower him with kisses, squeeze the life out of him in forms of hugs, and to never let a day a pass without telling him how much we both love him and am so blessed that he's ours.  

I promise to keep talking and telling your pup-brother, Jumper about you, where you went, and how one day he'll finally play and cuddle up next to you again. Just like he used to when you were in my tummy. 

I promise to never ever go a day without saying your name out loud.  

I promise to never refer you to "her" or "my first born" or "my baby". I promise to always say and use your beautiful, beautiful name.  

I promise to share your story and legacy with whomever wants to read or listen about it.  

I promise to live each day as if you're here with me.  

I promise to look for you in all of the things that go on in my daily life.

I promise to look for you in all of the details, because you know how much mama is into and loves the details.  

I promise to smile, appreciate and acknowledge each singing bird, beautiful butterfly, rainbow after the rain, and all the sunrises and sunsets I'll witness until we can get to do them together. 

I promise to visit you everyday at your grave site, and for the days I can't make it, to delegate this visit to someone else I know that loves you, your daddy and I so much.  

I promise to bring you flowers; in hues of pinks, blushes and whites because I know these would be your favorites.  

I promise to never stop playing your favorite lullabies no matter how much time has passed or how much listening to them will break me.  

I promise to always open the windows in your sweet room to let the light in.  

I promise to keep it clean, organized and beautiful everyday -- even when a new brother or sister will come and share your room with you.  

I promise to always leave fresh flowers and greens ok your bedside table.  

I promise to expand my newly refound love for the color pink in your honor.  

I promise to try my best to enjoy and make the most of each day and year that continues to pass, even if it is painful.

I promise and vow to never replace you. I want you to know that if the Lord decides to bless mommy and daddy with another baby(ies) -- that it will not change nor alter our love and all the dreams and plans we had for you. Your brother or sister will not be a replacement, they will be a reason. And the reason is that because of your sweet life, we will get to know and love theirs.

I promise to tell them whoever your future brothers/ sisters will be, about you and their amazing and brave, Ate Haven.

I promise to share your story and details with them no matter how old they'll get.

I promise to show them pictures, bring them with us when we visit the place you sleep and to teach them to look forward to the future they'll have with you someday.

I promise all of these promises and so much to you baby girl.

I promise you my life.

I promise you my love.

I promise you my heart.

I promise to guard, protect, and keep you safe -- as any other mother does for their child, just for us though, this case is more delicate and unique.

I promise to appreciate and bask in the joys and wonders of this life because of yours.

I promise to share the love and the little pieces your own little heart was missing that have significantly filled mine.

I promise all this and more.

I promise forever and for the next forever I'll get to spend with you.

Most of all,  

I promise to enjoy the beautiful things of that this life has to offer -- TWICE. Once for me and once for you.  

 

I      P R O M I S E 💕 ,

always Your mommy