XXII・VII・MMXVI

"Haven's precious story:

-On February 22nd, My confirmed with 3 pregnancy take home tests that she was indeed pregnant!
-Sister, Megan Mara, was the first to know of the news!
-On February 29th, My surprised and shared the news with Paul when he finished a long day at work! He was so excited! 

This was a selfie that Paul (the new daddy) snapped on Myra's phone when she shared the news!!!

-On March 2nd, Paul & My had their first doctor's visit! To their surprise, there was no baby on the screen yet so they had to come back in 2 weeks for the doctor to scan again. The doctor even mentioned that they may be having twins since twins take longer to show up on the scan! 

   
  
 
  
    
  
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   This was a selfie Paul + My took while walking to the car on their way to their first appointment! They were ecstatic, nervous and so so so happy!

This was a selfie Paul + My took while walking to the car on their way to their first appointment! They were ecstatic, nervous and so so so happy!

-On March 11th, Paul & My  finally saw their ONE little peanut! 8 weeks pregnant! They were so happy and in tears. They brought Meg with them and she was so happy too!

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     (They snapped a selfie at a stop light on their way home from the doctor's - Paul & My were parents!!!)

(They snapped a selfie at a stop light on their way home from the doctor's - Paul & My were parents!!!)

-On March 28th, Paul & My took DIY pregnancy announcements photos! This was a beautiful day for them. These are a few of the photos:

  (This was a selfie they took en route to find a location for their announcement photos!)

(This was a selfie they took en route to find a location for their announcement photos!)

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-Paul took bi-weekly photos of Myra for every milestone & adventure they experienced with baby G. These are the collection of photos they took:  (Weeks 12-25)

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-On June 13th, Paul & My excitedly went to the doctor's for their routine checkup and 5 month anatomy scan but went home with devastating, life-changing news. Their perinatologist, saw something wrong with baby G's heart - only a single ventricle (an important chamber needed to pump oxygenated blood to the rest of the body for survival). Baby G was also in breech position with her spine facing outwards- making it hard for the docs to see her full heart and give us a confirmed diagnosis. They then traveled to Westwood to immediately visit a pediatric cardiac surgeon who then confirmed what their doctor found. He explained what was then going to happen post-delivery and what the rest of her life was going to look like. Even though, this is not the typical news any parent(s) would like to hear or know of their unborn child, Paul & My remained strong, hopeful and excited for the arrival of their little one.
-The 2 weeks (July 1st-10th) before Paul & My's world turned upside down, they had originally planned a 10 day trip to the East Coast to celebrate their combined 2 year wedding anniversary + babymoon. However, with the unexpected news, they planned and were approved by the doctor to travel locally so they opted to Palm Springs and to Las Vegas to visit Paul's dad. These are some of what they didn't expect to be final and last family photos and memories:

-"Then on Monday July 11th, during our 6 month checkup, we discovered that my bag of water (amniotic sac) supporting the baby is not where it should be and was found to be outside way too early. I've been hospitalized since Monday and am ordered to be on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy until God decides to call on our sweet baby to arrive. The bed rest is to prevent my bag of water from rupturing too early and to help keep our baby safe and protected inside mommy's tummy so that he/she continues to grow adequately.

In addition, my husband and I were told a month ago June 13th) that Baby G also has a heart defect - the specific diagnosis or condition has not been finalized yet but seems like he/she is missing one ventricle (an important chamber that is needed to pump blood efficiently throughout the body). Due to the baby's heart condition, our pediatric cardiologist informed us that Baby G will be needing 2-3 heart surgeries depending on the severity of the defect, which we will not know until the baby grows a little more- the 1st would be performed within the first 1-2 days of life, the 2nd would be at 2-3 months and the last would be at 2-3 years old.

Since Baby G is still so very small, if my bag of water ruptures earlier than it should, the baby would not have a chance at the first surgery due to small birth weight and young gestational age (prematurity). The perinatologists (high risk baby specialists) and the rest of the baby team of doctors and nurses have agreed to the current goal for Baby G to reach 2500 grams in weight (baby is currently at 810 grams) or at least to reach 28 weeks of pregnancy in order for the baby team to advance my plan of care as well as the heart doctors to consider if the baby has a chance for the first heart surgery.

There are no words to describe what the past few days have felt like for Paul and I, and our families. We have experienced so much emotional distress and trauma since being admitted. I was just at home a few days ago, an expecting mommy, excitedly nesting and preparing for baby and now find myself bedbound, in a hospital and at a loss for words and sometimes the strength to be strong for our little one. I pray every day for my baby's life and that my body continues to protect our Baby G. Initially, I was so numb, wishing that I myself can fix, mend, cradle and heal my baby from all this hurt. I want so bad to protect him/her from all the uncertainty, risks and harm but I am slowly coming to terms that I do not have this power nor control. I am currently in the process of coming to a place where I need to let go of the constant worry and fear of this challenge- that as much anger, worry, doubt that can easily overcome my spirit - I will courageously put my faith and trust in what I know my God is doing. Although I have experienced emotional, mental and spiritual numbness and physical exhaustion, I have fervently talked with God and have come to the point of praise and thankfulness. He gave us this precious gift of life that is growing within me and knows what is ultimately best and necessary for Baby G and the plan He has, whatever it will be, has been made perfect already.

Our best case scenario is that God performs a miracle for our little one in utero. We pray that we may be continued to be paired with the best doctors, specialists and nurses to care for us and lay their hands on our babe. Whatever the outcome is from all this, Paul and I know that this does not surprise God - He does not make mistakes and that there is Grace in this path He has laid out for us. He is always and only good and loves our Gavini Babe more than we ever can." - Myra

-Despite the hard situation, Paul, My & their families remained optimistic and hopeful in the plan God laid out for them. Everyday, My's room was filled with visitors - some regulars along with new faces, flowers, sunlight, warmth, love, new food, positive energy, beautiful nurses and healthcare staff, gifts, artwork - all of a sudden what seemed scary, became a place called home. Bed baths, turning 2-3 hours, hanging on the side of the bed to use the restroom, ordering hospital food, praying - became "okay" and normal. 
After 11 days of extreme highs and lows,
-On Friday, July 22nd, our precious surprise baby was a beautiful, perfect, miracle baby girl - Haven Faith. 

Haven with her parents, Papa Deej, Mama Meg, Papa Jeff and Mama Tash (Paul & My's siblings).

She made her way into the world at 7:24am at 1 pound and 11 ounces and 13 inches long. She was beautifully, wonderfully and fearfully made. She came out with a soft, innocent wail/ sigh. Paul and Meg were at My's immediate side when she came out with Grandma Eva also in the room. She had special skin-to-skin intimate time with her parents before they shared her with everyone else. Paul and My were so proud and in awe of the amazing life they created together. It was beautiful. They were then ready and called their families to come into the room to see and hold precious Haven.  All day, visitors were in and out of the room - despite the amount of tears shed and tissues used - there was a certain constant warmth in the room. Jesus had been with Paul & My since day 1, stayed with them in that hospital room and was unfailingly there in the room the day Haven arrived. Even though, Paul and My have no words and are in a state of shock, devastation and distress - they do feel a sense of peace and comfort knowing that there is only one source that can give them this alone during a time like this. Jesus. 

(My's Words) 
"Every good and perfect gift is from above..." James 1:17

Our sweet, little miracle baby girl - Haven Faith Mara Gavini - graced herself into this world this morning, Friday July 22nd 2016 at 7:24am at 1lb & 11 ounces, 13 inches long and departed just as beautifully at 11:20am. In her almost 4 hours of life, she was prayed over, laid hands on, held and spoken to by our sweet family members and close dear ones, got baptized and was loved on by her daddy and I. She also made her way to heaven whilst listening to her favorite Disney lullabies that we've been playing for her since she was 12 weeks old in mommy's tummy. She is our light and world and even though she had lots of things wrong with her heart, she's forever changed mine. My angel, I love you so much. Thank you for being my bestest friend these past 6.5 months, mommy will treasure all of our precious milestones and all of the adventures we got to experience together. Thank you for changing my life, for being my first perfect baby, for making me a mama and Paul Gavini a daddy. You'll always, always be with us. May your beautiful, sweet soul rest in peace. 
‪#‎theGaviniBabe ‪#‎26weeks1day ‪#‎babyG"

(Paul's Words)
"Haven Faith Mara Gavini
Born 7/22/16 @ 0724
26 weeks and 1 day Old
You are such a beautiful blessing God gifted us with. No words can describe the emotions and feelings felt the moment you entered this world. Forever grateful and happy for the opportunity to have held you in my arms and play with you while your little heart was still beating. Just like the strong parents that you have, you kept fighting for almost 4 hours and in those 4 hours you were held and adored and loved by so many
️! I wish it was more than 4 hours, but God has better plans for you and now you are at rest in peace. You entered this world beautiful and left exactly the same. You will always be our angel. We love you Haven Faith! ‪#‎BabyG ‪#‎theGaviniBabe‪#‎26weeksand1dayold

To everyone who has supported us along the way, we thank you for your prayers, gratitude, and love. Words can't describe the amount of love shown today, just a blessing God has brought us. We ask that you continue to pray for Baby G, Haven Faith, and our Family. Thank you all."

(Meg's Words)
"I remember I was the first person your mommy told when she knew she was pregnant. I remember listening to your heart beat for the first time at the doctor visit. I remember how your parents held each other when they found out about your precious heart. I remember how we all cried, prayed, accepted and cont to anticipate your sweet arrival even with the scary surgeries u needed. And then I remember how scared your parents were when your mom had to be admitted even though u were only 6mos. I remember all the decisions they had to make so that you had a fighting chance to grow and thrive. I remember the past 2 weeks your mom was bedridden, basically living in the hospital with your mom and dad - giving your mom bed baths, turning her every 2-3 hrs, and the fun visits from family and friends that already loved you before they knew you. I remember the past two nights your mom was having pain, how quickly they started the epidural, how scared we all were because we knew what it all meant. I remember the doc coming in and checking you and saying the words we didn't want to hear - that your delivery was inevitable and all they could do was comfort care when u arrived. The doctors and nurses made mom comfortable until her contractions grew strong. I remember when your mom was ready, prepared to bring you out into the world but not prepared to let you go. I remember how strong you mom was,quietly and peacefully pushing until you came out. She was beautiful. And the first sight of you was absolute perfection, my heart literally fluttered. The doctors told us that you were a girl - and your dad immediately said "Haven Faith". I broke down. These past two weeks have been extreme highs and lows - hoping you'd make it to 28 weeks and knowing the high risk that you'd deliver sooner than that. I won't understand how and why all this has unfolded the way it has, but I'll always remember. I'll always remember how strong, courageous and faithful your parents were to you. I'll always remember that how never for a second they doubted how you were so beautifully and wonderfully made no matter what the doctors found wrong with you. I'll always remember their abounding and unreserved love and adoration they had for you. And I'll always always always remember how they never gave up on you. The almost four hours we had with you was a dream. You were so beautiful, I'll be forever mesmerized. It was an honor to care for mom and dad all this time and a privilege to be right by mom when u arrived. Your parents are immeasurably strong and amazing, it's ridiculous. Thank you for blessing all of us, bringing us together and giving us the light and faith we all desperately needed. We were ready for you but we were not ready for all the love you made us feel. It felt so good to see and hold you. ~ Until the next time I get to see and hold you again, Mama Meg."

Around 6:00pm, My received discharge paperwork and was "ready" to go home. Packing up the room and leaving the hospital felt surreal. We really believed and hoped that we were going to make it to 28 weeks/ 2500 grams and even further however God ultimately had other, much better, much more beautiful plans for beautiful Haven. These were the last photos Paul & My took at the hospital and in their special 5627 hospital room:

To try and find the words to explain how a couple arrives to a hospital pregnant and leaves empty handed and how just 2 weeks ago we were planning a beautiful baby shower and ready to send out invites and now planning a funeral instead is ..... *we've sat staring at the screen with a river of tears over trying to find a way or word(s) to describe this but cannot simply because there are none. With deep, heavy hearts, we ask if you are kindly able to donate what you can for Haven Faith - we want to give her the best possible funeral and lay her beautiful body to final rest in paradise.

Your constant outpour of prayers, thoughts, calls, text messages and love mean the world to us at this heavy, heavy time. We love, appreciate and are so grateful for our families both local and worldwide, our friends - close, near and dear ones, our work families, social media communities and even strangers. The overwhelming amount of love and support we've received throughout our journey has been  a true blessing and evident that God is ever-present and unfailing. 

With all the love in our hearts, 
Paul, Myra & sweet Haven"

This was written by Paul and I for our gofundme campaign description to share and help raise funds to give haven the best memorial + service to celebrate her life. our total goal ($5000) was surpassed by an additional $4000 over. the love and support of our family, friends, even strangers and the power of god's hand was evident and took total control over Havey's event and its' preparation.